Life in General.

So life has been pretty insane lately. Trying to get everything ready for Christmas which is 2 days away I cant even believe it. This year is gonna be alot harder for me. Its really weird not having Rachel and Casey there with us. Im used to getting up in the morning and having everyone there to open presents and Brandon usually comes over around 10 or so. But now Rachel and Casey are out on there own, Jarron and Char are doing there own thing. Ya everyone will be over later in the day but its just not gonna be the same :(

Also, I start school in about 3 weeks. Im extremely excited, yet extremely terrified. I know this is what I want to do, but at the same time its going to be really hard! My schedule won't be extremely full but its still gonna be rough to get used to it! I will have Work Monday through friday from 8-5 like usual. Then on Mondays and Wednesdays I have Clinical Pathology from 6-7:20. Than I have medical terminology from 9-10:30 on Saturday mornings. So its gonna be crazy. Than hopefully in the next year or so I can start the nursing program :)

Ainsworth Family Christmas Party!

So we had our Ainsworth family Christmas party last night. It was SUCH a blast. Yummy food too :). It had a great turn out and we all had a fun night! Here are some of the best moments of the night, captured by Lady!

This is Kace(SP) shooting Buster with his dart gun "Kabloom!"

Chloe tried to make Rachel and Casey eat invisible food. Rach found the real food luckily. Unfortunately Casey ate too much invisible food and invisible puked all over! Me and Brandon Laughing at Crazy aunt Judy! "The train was freezin and full of FAT people!" Haha I love Brandon! Me and Annie Chilling in the Kitchen with Danny :)

My second Identity. I am the Grinch!

I hate the snow!

So any of you that know me know that i HATE the snow! Its my worst thing in the world. A year ago today I was in Hawaii. Such a Blast! This is my family at pearl Harbor



This is what I got all day long at work today.
Needless to say... Today was NOT my favorite day EVER. This is only about 3 of the 7 inches we ended up with by 3 o'clock when I left. RIDICULOUS! Luckily Brandon saved the day and picked me up and rode trax home with me. I love him lots :)

Company Party!

So Last night was my work company party thing. It was such a blast! We went to Madelines steak house. The food was alright as was the service. The group was a blast though! Rachel was my date and we had a wonderful night! We got white elephant gifts. She got a candle and I got some tools. It was a riot! I have a few pics and there are plenty more to come :)

Me and Rachel opening up our white elephant gifts. Hers is a red candle and mine is a toolset.

Everyone says Krista and I fight like sisters so this is us fighting over the white elephant gifts :)

I LOVE my company. Its a blast :) I have been here 10 months already and everyday is a new adventure. The only bad part of the evening was watching Earl make out with his girlfriend in the parking lot. I almost lost my meal. Hahaha. More pictures to come :)

When?

When did I become the girl that lets some stupid guy affect her?? I have been so good and happy lately. Than yesterday a guy at my work, Jim, asked me if I had an old cell phone I could sell him. Any of you that know me know that I go through cell phones faster than you can change your underwear :). So I went home and put my sim card into an old cell phone so I can delete all the old stuff off it to sell him. I went in to the messages and there was like 100 from Matt. The cute ones he used to send me that I saved. Telling me he loves me and I'm the best thing ever to happen to him. That didnt really affect me too much I just deleted them. Than I got to the pictures... There were a few of some old friends. Than there were a few of me and matt together. We both looked soo happy together! What happened? The one that kills me is the one of Matt and Jaylon, his nephew, together. I miss his nephew SO much. He was such a sweetheart. It took everything I had to get me to delete those pictures. I was almost in tears. I'm stronger than this. I know I just need to move on. But how do you move on from the one thing you have always wanted?

Update :)

I love this time of year! As much as I HATE the snow and the cold, you can't help but feel the spirit in the air. Its incredible. I had the opportunity to go to forgotten carols with my family as well as one of my very best friends, Kris. It was so much fun to see his reaction to the music and the spirit in the room. Most of you had probably never heard of the forgotten carols. What it is is a guy that pretends to have severe mental issues and he also pretends to be a member of someones family that is staying in there house while there out of town. He pays a hospital to have a nurse, Constance Chamberlain, take care of him for the week. While she is there she helps decorate his tree. Each ornament has a carol, but they aren't your original Christmas Carols, Thus the Forgotten Carols. They talk about what the Inn keeper thought when he sent Joseph and Mary away. He thinks he knew this man. When asked when he was born, his response is "Just over 1500 years ago this may." And he thinks this is totally normal. Its a riot. I HIGHLY recommend it.

So I realized again that I am ALOT stronger than I give myself credit for. My uncle constantly reminds me of the lyrics to one of my favoritest songs EVER. Its called Mountains. It talks about a man in the army who lost his leg but he kept going strong. He trained through endless pain and pills so he could run in a marathon. It talks about a waitress who worked SO hard at the local diner day and night for less than minimum wage. But it was worth it all to see her son in that cap and gown. The best part is the Chorus "There are times in life when you've gotta crawl, lose your grip, trip and fall. When you can't lean on no one else. Thats when you find yourself! I've been around and I've noticed that, walkin's easy when the road is flat, them dang old hills will get you EVERY time. The good Lord gave us mountains. So we could learn how to climb. Well this world ain't fair. It can knock you on your butt. You can just lie there or you can get back up. You gotta get back up" Its a great song :)

Thanksgiving.... and other stuff...

The only thing I can think of to describe how I am feeling...
Its entitled I have been blessed. Martina McBride.

I get kissed by the sun Each morning Put my feet on a hardwood floor I get to hear my children laughing Down the hall through the Bedroom door Sometimes I sit on my Front porch swing Just soaking up the day I think to myself, I think to myself This world is a beautiful place I have been blessed And I feel like I've found my way I thank God for all I've been given At the end of every day I have been blessed With so much more than I deserve To be here with the ones That love me To love them so much it hurts I have been blessed Across a crowded room, I know you know what I'm thinking By the way I look at you And when we're lying in the quiet and No words have to be said I think to myself, I think to myself This love is a beautiful gift When I'm singing my kids to sleep When I feel you holding me I know I am so blessed!

Also I went and saw twilight with my mom and rach. Never a disappointment. It was INCREDIBLE! I love that movie :).

Also about the whole break up thing, I have my good and bad days. Today was one of the harder ones, but I know that when I find the guy I am supposed to spend forever with, I will understand why nothing else has worked out. It is just the waiting part thats killing me :)

Twilight!!

So Me, Rachel, Cika, Annie, and some other chick went and saw twilight last night at 1230. At first I was hesitant cause I knew we wouldnt get home til 330 or 4 and I had to be up at 645 for work. But it was SO worth it! It was such a blast. We started out the night just me rach and casey hanging out. Which was soo much fun. Than we all went to dinner with Casey and Patchy at wingers. Than we went back to Cika's house to play sing star. It was a riot! Than at about 1145 we headed over to the theatre. Holy crap! I have never seen so many girls in my life! It was crazy. We had about 2 maybe 3 boys in our theatre. It was so crazy. Than like every 30 seconds when Edward shows up on the screen you hear 45 or so teenage girls scream! It was kind of obnoxious. But overall it was a great movie. I'd see it again. And again. And again! SO WORTH the sleepless night. Everyone at work today is calling me the walking zombie. haha!

Cute!

So last night I was having a rough night. I was just laying there with my puppy and my teddy bear thinking. Praying. And all the sudden I got a text from my daddy so my phone starts playing brown eyed girl cause thats our song. So i'm thinking its gonna be him telling me to turn off my tv and go to bed. So i shut the tv off and than I look at the text. It read "Who loves you baby?" And it honestly just made my day. I love it when he texts me. I was reading a letter he sent me one year on trek. It talks about how proud he is of what i've become. How much he loves me and how beautiful I am. I wish that even for 10 seconds I could see myself through my fathers eyes. He started the letter with "Hello my brown eyed baby" And ended it with "Love your brown eyed handsome man" I love that we have these nicknames for eachother. Its so sweet :) I honestly have the best dad on the planet! He always knows when I'm sad and he can make me laugh when I don't even feel like smiling. If I find a man half as good as my dad to marry and to be the father of my children, I will feel like the luckiest girl in the world! I love him.

Grateful.

Thanksgiving is right around the corner so I thought I'd take a minute to say what I'm grateful for :)
I am grateful for:

*Having a job in this horrible economy

*Having a family that I am sealed to forever.

*Having a sister that I see more as a best friend.

*Being able to work with all my friends EVERYDAY.

*The gospel.

*The power of prayer.

* This last one is gonna sound crazy but I am grateful for heartbreak, because as bad as it sucks, as miserable as it is, it brought me SO much closer to my mom and to Rachel. They were there for me day and night. Not to mention Krista who gets me trash talking with in seconds when she sees that I'm upset :) I have some of the most incredible people in my life. I am forever grateful for them :)

Stronger than yesterday!

I am honestly happy. I didn't think it was possible. But I am. I'm smiling again :) I know that one day I am going to find a guy worthy of me. (I know this sounds really snobby) A guy that kept himself clean so he could go to the temple. A guy that waited for me as long as i've been waiting for him. They guy that is worth my tears, but would never even dream of making me cry. The guy that points to me from across the room and tells all his buddies "Thats her. Thats the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with"

This is the guy I want:
The guy that calls me back when I hang up on him

that will kiss me in the rain

that argues over stupid stuff just so we can make up

that can make me laugh when I don't even want to smile.

that thinks he has everything in the world when he holds me in his arms.

that can prove to me that not every guy is a total jerk.

that tells me he loves me in front of his friends.

I want the guy that has worked as hard as I have to be temple worthy.

I want

Is this too much to ask for lol

More wedding pics :)

This is my brother in-law Casey. He acts like he doesn't love me sometimes! Haha He enjoys making fun of my eyebrows.
Me and my beautiful sister. My sister is WAY prettier than your sister!

Why?

Why do I try so hard to make sure everyone else is happy even if it means making myself miserable? I decided last night that I would answer when Matt called me. See if we could work things out. I even pretended to be happy for him even though it felt like a knife in my heart. I thought maybe he'd apologise for being a jerk and say he didnt want to lose our friendship. So I answer and I was being all quiet cause I was scared. And he asked what i was doing. I told him and asked what he was doing. His response was "Just laying in bed with Taush" OUCH! So I said hmm well I'll let you go then. Than he accuses me of being immature. So I said fine we'll talk. What do you want? And he started telling me if I wanted to be his friend I had to be Tausha's. So i said no. She's a backstabber. She was never a real friend. This was all before he told me he was with her and I was on speaker. I told him that I didnt understand how either one of them could do this. Especially after all the crap he talked on her. Than he hung up. So I texted him and said"Now who's immature" And he said "Yep.Have a nice life. Don't bother texting me or Taush for that matter." Why would I put myself through all this you might ask. I honestly don;t know anymore. The feelings I have for him are SO strong. I just wanted to see if he still felt the same. Apparently not. So of course I am at Rachels and I decide to call my mom because i was SO ANGRY! So I call her and just start sobbing. She didnt say I told you so. She listened. And her response was "Okay Randi, this is what were gonna do this time." I love how she said were. I know she's there to help :) "You're gonna cry your eyes out for a few days. Than your gonna write it off. Its gonna be over. Ya it might still hurt a year from now but not nearly as much as it does now. Its gonna keep hurting this bad if you keep trying to talk to him. He's a bad person!" Than she told me to come home. But honestly I just needed to be with Rachel. Can I just tell you what a strength she was to me last night. She started talking about when she was in the same situation. She told me "I can't tell you when it will stop hurting, but I can promise you that it does." Those words gave me so much strength. I don't think she realizes how much her advice means to me. The fact that she is ALWAYS there no matter what. She texted me last night til I fell asleep. It really truly helped me realize that were not just sisters anymore. Were best friends. I regret that we weren't closer when we were little. But honestly I think it helped us both to realize that when it comes down to it, family is the only thing that doesnt go away. She is such an incredible person. I can't wait to get married in the temple and have her there front and center. I also love her husband, Casey. He doesn't realize how much I look up to him and Rachel. I don't think they realize how much I love and care about them. They are my best friends. The blessing Casey gave me the other night was INCREDIBLE! The spirit was definitely there. I love them so stinking much!
I found a new quote that I put on my wall. It reads "You never realize how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you've got." This is so true! I never thought I could do it. But I didn't get much of a choice. All I can do now is pray for the strength to stand everyday. When life gets too hard to stand. Kneel. Those words are very true. Last night was a rough one. Not only because of what happened but because I decided i'm never letting it happen again. I realize its gonna be hard to trust ANY guys now. But I'm done with this. I'm moving on and I'm not turning back. There is a reason some people dont make it to our future. The past is the past. Its done. What happened happened. Do i really want to associate with these kind of people? NO. I found out who my real friends are and I dont need anybody else. I have the best friends a girl could ask for. I love them all!

Missy's wedding!

So my cousin Melisa got married on saturday. Everything went really well. My and Rachel were both in her line. Alot of very interesting things happened, first of all the wedding was supposed to start at 4 we left Marie's house at 330 and she had yet to take a shower. It was insane! Than we get there and my cousin Curtis' ex wife and ex girlfriend had been invited so they were there. So was his fiance. Talk about tense. Talk about drama! They all ended up gettin in a knock down drag out fight in the hall and Marie sent them all home before the reception. So the dance CD wasn't burnt because Curtis was supposed to burn it but he left. So my Beautiful cousin Karin and her husband Josh started working like crazy to get the CD burnt. Than the photographer kept taking pictures of my and Karin. It was hilarious. He said we both looked better than the bride so we would be the album cover. It was SO funny! I dont have my camera so I dont have pictures with me of the whole wedding but I do have some of me after I changed into my hoodie and jeans and I was still all dolled up.

Harder than I thought...

So yesterday I was doing so good. I was happy for the first time in a while. I was back to the old me. The real me. I was in such a good mood. Counting my blessings. Realizing how good I have it. Which I really do have it so good but we will get to that later! So I get home, Rachy and Casey come over which made my whole night. I love it when they come over. So im thinking man my day can't possibly get any better than this. So I go take a shower and while I'm drying off and putting clothes on I decide to check my phone for messages or missed calls ya know? Well I have 5 new messages. And of course one of them is from.....Matt. I thought I was over it. I thought it wouldn't effect me like it did. I didn't text him back. Luckily Rachel was there for me. She kept saying "That ring you just bought means dont text Matt." Lol the ring has footprints on it and says It was than that I carried you. I think she just said that to be funny. But it really made me think. I'm not going through this alone. I never was. It hit hard. And today has been one of the hardest days since I have decided not to talk to matt. Its his birthday and I'm dying to text him and tell him Happy Birthday. but Im not going to. Rachel told me last night, texting him and being mean won't hurt him as much as you not textin him at all. So I guess i wont talk to him. Its gonna be really hard but its also gotten alot easier. I just keep thinking "He picked her over me. This is where I stand in his life." I know I deserve better. I will find better :) So back to the whole counting my blessings thing. I was driving home from work yesterday and saw some cops cleaning up an accident. It made me realize how blessed I am that I only have to read or see these things happen to other people. The kidnapping, the murdering, the raping that goes on in our surroundings. Its a miracle that I am not involved in these things. I used to hang out with a group called the Juggalos. Most of you have probably never heard of them. They smoke pot and listen to insane clown posse. Well they have been in the news alot lately for attempted murder and sadly i used to affiliate myself with these kind of people. I knew the people in both cases of attempted murder. One of my very best friends is engaged to the head of rivertons chapter of juggalo wicked clowns. Its ridiculous. She used to be such a good girl. Wanted to get married in the temple. Than we started hanging out with them. She started drinking and smoking. I stopped hangin out with them and we stopped talking. Its so heartbreaking to see the affect of drugs and alcohol on someone you love so much! I can't even imagine doing that. I am so blessed I got out of that before it was too late!

Halloween...

So Halloween is like my favorite holiday EVER!! Its such a blast! This year I had 3 costumes LOL! I bought the first one for my sister in law and brothers Halloween party. Me and Rachel got matching costumes (Kinda) I was a bobble head grim reaper and she was a bobble head devil!

The second costume was for a ward activity where the primary teachers were to dress up in 50's attire. so I was in a poodle skirt. The picture isnt very good because a 10 year old took it with my phone lol!

My final costume was for work. I was supposed to be an 80's girl with Krista but according to Phil I was a HIT (Hooker in training) This was probably my favorite costume.

The past week!

Life has its way of spiraling out of control. I have definitely found out who my real friends are! I have found out that I can handle alot more than I thought I could. I know I already posted this quote but I also have it on my wall above my bed. "Its crazy how one day you think you could never live your life without him. Than the next day, your doing just that." It just goes to show that there is a reason some people don't make it to your future. One of my favorite songs about having strength is by Bucky Covington. Its entitled I'll walk. It talks about him being 18 years old with his girlfriend on prom night. They got in a huge fight and she tells him to pull the car over and let her out. He tries to stop her and she says "I'll walk. Let go of my hand. Right now I'm hurt and you don't understand. So just be quiet later we will talk. Just LEAVE don't worry. I'll walk" That night the girl gets hit by a truck. When he goes to visit her in the hospital the doctors tell him that her legs still won't move. He cries when he walks into her room. She says "I'll walk! Please come and hold my hand, right now I'm hurt and I dont understand! Lets just be quiet. Later we can talk. Please stay! Don't worry. I'll walk." So he held her hand through the weeks and months of therapy. He asks her to be his bride. Her dream since she was a little girl is to have her daddy bring her down the aisle. So from a wheelchair, she looks up at him and smiles. She says "I'll walk, please hold my hand. I know that this will hurt. I know you understand. Please Daddy don't cry. This is already hard. Lets go! Don't worry I'll walk."
How incredible would it be to have so much strength. I dont know what I would do if had an accident and was paralyzed.. I would not handle it well. Last week Baron, a guy at works niece and nephew were shooting eachother with airsoft guns. Well apparently his niece picked up a .22 pistol thinking it was just another airsoft gun and shot her brother in the neck. He was life flighted to the U hospital where he is paralyzed from the chest down. How sad. I can't imagine being in his or his sisters position. How heart wrenching. He is recovering quite well. He still doesnt know that he is paralyzed. The havent told him. He will be in the hospital for 6 or 7 months! On a happier note though I found out today that i get thanksgiving and the day after off! Thats Happy! Haha!

My mommy!

I have the best mom on this planet. Seriously. After the whole Matt and Taush saga or whatever you wanna call it. She knows that I try to hide my feelings from everyone. When Im sad I dont cry in front of people, i just act like things dont bother me. I act like Im angry rather than sad. So last night we were talking and she was telling me about one of her bad break ups and she was talking about my sisters bad break up and I just couldnt take it any more. I burst into sobs and my exact words were "When does it stop hurting." My mom pushed everything she was doing to the side, grabbed my hand and said I'm gonna tell you the truth. It hurts like crazy for the first week. Hurts quite a bit the second week still hurts the third and sometimes fourth week. But usually by the fifth week it only hurts when you hear a song they showed you or something reminds you of them. Sometimes the hurt doesnt go all the way away. I was just sobbing all the way through this. I said Mom i can't do it! And she said "You dont understand how strong you really are, Randi. You are capable of doing so much better. You are beautiful." Than when she thought I was asleep on the couch, which i was pretty out of it cause i took Nyquil I overheard her tell my dad "Our poor baby girl. She's going through her first heartbreak and there is nothing I can do to take the pain away." My dads response was "I know its all a part of growing up". I just want to let my mom know how much i love her. She isn't just my mom. She's my best friend and my hero. She knows EVERYTHING there is to know about me. She knows my likes and my dislikes. And she is always there with a hug no matter what. I trust her with my life. I would take a million bullets for this woman. I have SO much respect for my mom. She truly is the most INCREDIBLE woman I know. She can conquer anything. She is so smart and so beautiful. She can cure any illness with just the touch of her hand. She can't quite cure a broken heart yet but she did have me trash talking and laughing pretty hard last night haha! I just wanted to let her know how much i love her! Thanks for being my shoulder to cry on mommy! I Love you so much!

My beautiful mommy! I luf her!

I'll walk....

Last night I went to my BEAUTIFUL sisters house to go grocery shopping. And lately I have been stressed about alot of stuff. Namely Matt. Well when I got there I asked her if her husband would give me a blessing. Now he had no idea why he asked if I just needed a comfort blessing or what and I said yes, just comfort please! And the second he layed his hands on my head, he knew exactly what was going on. He told me that I had a lot of very hard trials ahead of me. But I wouldn't be alone through them. And he blessed me that I would be a strong enough person to be able to handle them. I just didnt know how soon they would come. Then when I got home last night Matt texted me and told me him and Taush had been hanging out and they really like eachother. It may be immature but I said "You guys are stupid. I'm done with both of you" He didnt even try to fight it or anything he just said okay. I think he thinks that I will cave in and text him. Well I'm not going to this time. Than I texted Taush and said "I heard about you and Matt. Some best friend you are" Than I grabbed my teddy bear and cried myself to sleep. I hate this. I am NOT the girl that cries over a stupid boy! What is wrong with me!?!?! Than Rach helped quite a bit texting me til I fell asleep. She's such a great sister. Than the second I walked in to Krista's office she asked "When are we slashing that Ho's tires?" Haha I love her. It hurts right now and its hard not to cry but im strong. I can handle anything.

Moving On...

So we are told from the time we are born til the time we start dating (At least I was) that all boys will hurt you and that you should just stay away from them. For a while, even after i started dating, i believed this. All because of one stupid guy that I kept letting hurt me. Well I've decided to move on. Today on our way back from gateway Krista could tell I was very frustrated and she automatically knew why. She told me I could either be with this guy or not be with him. There is no in between. When you say you are in between you are an unpaid hooker basically" And honestly it really hit me. Thats how I'm acting. I'm letting him basically tell me that we can never be more than friends than he starts kissing me and wanting more. I refuse to be his unpaid (or paid) hooker. So I guess all that leaves is moving on. I know it will be hard. I feel like I am never going to find the guy I'm supposed to be with. I hate dating. I stumbled across a few quotes about this that I'd like to share with you so here goes:
"Its weird how one day u feel ull never be able to live ur life without him...and then the next day ur doing exactly that."
"Letting go doesnt mean u have to stop loving someone...it simply means u have to accept that there are some things that cannot be."
"Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, its not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who wouldnt give up on them."

This is why I don't hang out with alot of girls:

D R A M A!
Seriously. I hate girls. This is why I only have guy friends. I now have 2 girls I trust. Rachel, and Krista. They are the 2 people I could call at any hour with the dumbest problem and they would be there in a heartbeat. They are the ones that I know wouldn't judge me. They know what my goals are and they are there to help me reach for them! These are the people I would do anything for. They have helped me get to where I am in my life. They have helped to make me who I am.

Rachel- I love that I can text you at 2 am and you would call me just to make sure I was okay. I love that when I leave your house or when you know that I am going anywhere you always call me to make sure Im safe. That shows how much you care! I love you!

Krista- I love our lunch time shopping sprees. And our funny email conversations. I love that you always know when Im having a bad day and you just sit and listen to all the crap I have to say and you never laugh in my face because I am SO Immature! I also love all of our inside jokes. I am glad that we have gotten such a close friendship! Thanks for always being there for me. Your advice means alot to me!

Work!

I love my job. I know I always say that but I thought I would post some pictures to prove how fun it really is :)


So One of the reasons I love my job is me and Krista constantly give Earl crap for sexually harrassing us. Even though we secretly enjoy it:) haha in this picture Earl is staring down my shirt with his tongue out and Krista busted him :)

Another reason is the close relationship I have with Krista. She's our accounts payable and receivable and one of my very best friends.We fight like sisters but I love her anyway! Isn't she gorgeous! I HATE her! Haha!

The Doctor : Part II

So I went to the doctor again yesterday because you can see the gland on my neck clear across the room. So I went and saw a REAL doctor not my crazy physicians assistant. So I go in there and she knew exactly what was wrong: Viral strep. Its like regular strep but its about 10x worse because there is no antibiotic that will fight it. Also it lasts anywhere from 2-6 WEEKS! She said to go to the pharmacy and buy mucinex d and take it twice a day til it goes away. Each person is different she's seen it go away in as little as two weeks and last as long as 6 or 7 weeks. I was in shock. And to top it all of mucinex d does nothing! I still feel like crap and i'm stuck at work. Yay.

But I do have the best boss in the world. My mom called him yesterday to tell him I wouldn't be in because I was pretty sick and had to go back to the doctor. Rather than being like "She better bring in a doctors note" or anything like that. He said "Tell her were thinking about her and hope she gets feeling better" What a sweetheart. Thats another reason i love my job.

What is the point of even going to the doctor anymore?

So for the past 3 or 4 days I have had a really bad sore throat and headache all that fun stuff. And its been really hard to breathe. So yesterday I left work early and headed to the doctor. Well of course I get the freakin retard doctor that has no idea what he's doing. He said I have a throat infection and the rest is a puzzle to him he has no idea what else could be wrong. I have a slight fever but no strep. My lungs sound "pretty ok" in his words. So I asked what Im supposed to do. He asked what I have been doing. I told him Id been taking Ibuprofen and nyquil. He said "Ya good Idea, i'd keep doing that" What is wrong with this picture?? seriously I hate my doctor. I paid the 10 dollar copay for him to tell me to keep doing what i've been doing. He said my tonsils are swollen. I got my tonsils out when i was like 5 and I told him that. Than he said oh i meant your glands they are HUGE and he just chuckled about it. I felt like he was doctor Nick off the simpsons im not even joking!!!!

You find out who your friends are!

One of my favorite quote is "What is a friend? I will tell you it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself." I realized that honestly? There are only about 4 people I trust and feel like I can tell everything to and know that they won't rat me out or go behind my back and tell everyone.
So this is what i have to say to the select few:

Krista. You're always listening to my guy drama and giving me VERY good advice! I know you hate when I get all mushy but you are seriously one of my very best friends. I know I can go to you with any problem and you'll most likely have done the same thing at one point and know exactly what to say to make things all better! You have definitely been my life saver! Thanks a bunch!

Tausha. We have hung out every day this past week and it has been a riot! Im kinda sad for Bud to go home because i wont see you as much! You have also listened to all my drama. And helped me to be strong and keep my mind off things. We barely knew eachother in highschool and we randomly started texting this past year and got closer than i would ever have imagined. We have had alot of good times and i am so glad to have you! You are a strong, Beautiful girl and don't let anyone tell you different!

Rachy and Casey- You two are seriously the best! I know I can go to either one of you with any problem. Let me split this up though!

Rachel- I love our girls night out! We dont do it often but when we do its a blast! And you are such a gorgeous girl! I am so glad we have gotten so close. We have learned that we are eachothers best friend as long as we dont have to live together or see eachother a whole lot! I love our talks because after you give me a pep talk I feel like I can conquer anything!

Casey- I always know that you will be there for me. You are like a brother to me and lately you've been more of a brother than my real brothers and I am so grateful for that! You are always there with boy advice. And you always tell me I can do better. I can't wait to start school and you are the only one encouraging me to reach for my goals. You know what I'm capable of if I push myself and I know you'll be there to help with all the hard stuff! I love your hugs, I dont get them often but when I do they always cheer me up! Thanks for being such a great big brother! I know I could call you at 3am and you would probably be really cranky at first but you'd talk to me or you would come give me a priesthood blessing! I hope I find a guy just like you to take me to the temple someday!

New car...

So I'm looking for a new car. For cheap. I want to get a nice car for only like a couple grand. Alot of people are telling me that I won't get a nice car for less than 10 grand. I can NOT afford that! So if you know anyone looking to get rid of there cars let me know :)

ALSO...I start school in January and I am SOOO Excited! Its gonna be a challenge but I'm looking forward to it. I am actually excited to get back into the whole school thing. I realize medical assistants dont make a whole lot of money but its what I think will make me happy :)

After many months of slacking I FINALLY finished the twilight series! I only had about 100 pages left and I got busy and never finished til this past weekend! It is so good! I cant wait for the movie!!!

Tag Im it!

Tagged
I've been tagged by Krista
. Since I have a minute I decided to do it!
3Joys:
*Reading
*Sleeping
*Cuddling :)
3Fears:
*Losing loved ones. Doesn't everyone have this fear?
*Being alone
*Not making my parents proud
3Goals:
*Temple Marriage
*Being A Mommy
*Getting my medical assisting degree
3Current Obsessions:
*Texing
*Sleeping
*Lotion at the smell good store
3Random/Surprising Facts:
*I love 97.1 I love the gossip!
*I've been at this job longer than any other job
*I refuse to get married outside the temple!
Well Krista, there ya go! More than you or anyone ever wanted to know!
Now I tag..... Jenna, Rachel,Jodi,Lady, Emily and anyone else who wants to share!

Our Trip To Colorado

Our trip to Colorado was a BLAST! Seriously.. Our parents warned us ahead of time that we've had lot of good vacations and now it was our turn to give back. We went to Uncle Rogers house which we all knew we would be working long hours.. the first night my parents, jarron,char,and I arrived at his house at about midnight.. we all got situated and hit the hay.. we woke up at about 7 or 8 and got to work... the girls ran to the grocery store and started cleaning up the house while the boys jumped up on to the roof to start re roofing.. rachel and casey got there friday night around 8 and we had dinner and got them settled in... Saturday was a VERY long day. The boys continued with the roofing and the girls cleaned up the house again. My mom char and I mowed the 4 acre lawn and Then we all pulled weeds for a few hours... than we decided to go in and paint a few of the rooms and trim.. all that fun stuff so we did that for a few hours than my Aunt and Uncle came over with there 5 adopted kids and we all worked on the yard and my uncle built a new porch... than we all, i think there was like 10 of us, took turns in the shower... Ya he only had ONE Bathroom that was the only bad part really... than we went to bed... Sunday we got up and went to see Ruben get the priesthood which was very cool.. than we went back to Uncle Steves for tacos and chit chat for a few hours while rachel and casey played horsey and unicorn cowboys with the kids, i'll add pictures later haha! Than we headed up to estes park which is like a HUGE shopping center, its the best place EVER! Than we went home had dinner and called it a night. Monday we got up, got all packed up and Before we left my uncle took us all for rides on his motorcycle! IT was amazing! I love motorcycles! They are a blast!! Than we headed to the Rockies vs Giants game! It was seriously one of the most awesome things i have ever experienced! The Giants got spanked 4-0! It was insane! If they would let Lincecum pitch they'd win a lot more! Than we headed home and got home about 1:30! Great fun!

Im a failure!

LOL! That title is a little over dramatic... but thats me.. So yesterday I had cramps way bad so i went and bought some midol.. I took it and shortly after my mom informed me it has ALOT of caffeine in it... Does that count as drinking caffeine? I dont think it should cause i didnt know! But I probably would have taken it anyway cause It was PAINFUL! haha.. Now that i have given you all WAY too much information.. Im going back to work!

UpDaTe

So i stopped drinking caffeine and carbonation a while back... I still haven't had caffeine its been about two months but I have had carbonation... Not very often only as a special treat or when i have a tummy ache... Also I leave tomorrow for Coloarado to stay with my favorite uncle... I am very very excited... Were going down to help him with a bunch of stuff but I think it will be a blast just spending time with him! Im stoked! And i get to see emily and hermie and all my other cousins that I haven't seen since Jarron and Chars or Rachel and Caseys Weddings! Its insane.. I miss them like crazy so it should be fun :) I'll post more when i get back and let you know how things go out there! OH I ALMOST FORGOT were going to the giants vs rockies game on monday afternoon before we head home! Im super excited! I think it'll be once in a lifetime... I can't freaking wait.. I work today and half of tomorrow than im out! WOOT! Lotsa love! WEENIE

My Job

So I have been at my job a little over six months now which is a new record. And i can honestly say that I still love every second of it! I get along with everybody! And i am starting to figure more and more stuff out. I love learning new things everyday. Thats probably my favorite part. Its not repetitive at all. I answer phones and do ALOT of filing. But I love it! My new favorite thing is watching Krista do her accounts. I have learned so freakin much in the last week. She has the funnest job! I hope someday i can help her with it! Its a challenge I think thats why I love it so much! Also there is rarely ANY drama.. Were all adults and we left the Highschool drama behind us.. Im the youngest one here... and the funny thing is when I first started i could've sworn krista was like 18 or 19! She's so petite... I get along way better with guys than girls which is why i think im happy here.. I work with one other girl and she's basically my best friend the rest of them are guys... I've built strong relationships with almost everyone here... I look forward to mondays for the most part because I get to be with friends all day! Its like a party here all the time... We know when its time to work but we always make sure there is time to have fun..

Things i've learned

Life isn't fair. It never has been and it never will be. Sometimes we have to let things fall apart in order for better things to fall together. It sucks but eventually things work out. One of my favorite sayings is "Everything is okay in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end" These are the words i try to live by. I recently broke up with the guy that i could honestly see myself spending forever with. Which brings me to my next quote "Don't make someone your everything because when they've gone you'll have nothing" This quote is so true! After we broke up I went to a bachelorette party and that helped me forget for a while... when i got home it just hit me so hard. I went in and layed next to my mom and she gave me a hug and I just lost it... I started talking to her about everything.. It felt so good! I think i laid there and cried for about 45 minutes and the best part was, she just listened and didn't tell me i was wrong or anything... she gave me her point of view but she didn't shove it down my throat like most parents do. That was when I realized that she isn't just my mom, she's my best friend. She's the one person who, No matter what I do, no matter how bad i screw up, she's there with a hug. I recently had a friend who ended up getting pregnant. I talked to my mom about it and she told me if i was ever in that situation, no matter how bad it would hurt her, she would hope that i would go to her before anyone else. And she promises to love and be there for me no matter what. I love having heart to heart with my mom! She is the nicest lady you'll ever meet..

Oh The Memories

The Memory game. I'm adding it to my blog as well.....
I am doing this mostly to see who really loves me.....
don't let me down!!!
Here are the directions:
1. Add a comment on my blog of a memory or two that you and I had together. It can be anything fun that you remember. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot or not at all, just put any memories you have.
2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments. Try to keep it going on your blog with your friends!

4th of July

So on the 4th of July i went to my first rodeo! Its was so freaking awesome! I loved it... Im not gonna lie though.. i was very worried about the baby bulls they tied up.. i kept asking my dad if it hurt them when they tackled them. I think he got quite annoyed by me.. but it was awesome... I will definitely be going back... we also played Volleyball which is my new favorite sport...
I recently stopped drinking caffeine and carbonated drinks. I have since lost 5 or 6 pounds.. im very happy about this!

Softball....

So at our game last night my poor sister in law got almost knocked out by the second basemen and he didnt even apologize so we got all mad and annoyed and we thought we were all over it... well my dad is on first and the 2nd basemen got him out but he kept running we thought he just didnt realize he got out so we just thought nothing of it... next thing we know my 50 year old dad hits the second baseman full force knocking him to the ground and gashing his forehead! Hahah it was great.. needless to say he got kicked off the field. Good times!

Life....

So I'm new at this blog thing... I copied Krista haha.. Isnt it funny how fast life goes.. I know i'm still young but i get so much crap for not even being in a relationship right now.. My mom and sister both tell me they had been engaged like 12 times by the time they were my age. Im only 19 for petes sake... Yea some people are very lucky to find love at a young age and stay together.. but if i were to get married right now it would not last.. im way too immature... and I don't like commitment... haha... Well thats it for now :) I'll update when i can!