Blessed....

Its been a month or so since i've blogged. And i figure what better thing to blog about than my blessings? I have so many things to be thankful for. Its unbelievable. Somedays I sit and think about how hard i have it. Work, school, bills. Than I realize, this is LIFE. My aunt Connie recently brought a very good quote to my attention "Life is what you make it, always has been, always will be." It's SO true. You can sit there and think of everything thats wrong in your life. For example My cousin Curtis recently passed away. I can sit here and dwell on how much I miss him and how horrible it would be for his kids to grow up with out him. Or i can be happy because I have the knowledge that families are forever. I can sit here and try to figure out how to pay all my bills and still be able to shop, or i can pay my tithing and KNOW that everything will work out. I have been blessed with SO Many wonderful things because of the opportunity I have to have the gospel in my life. It truly is incredible. I have the coolest family(and future inlaws) on the planet. I have the best boyfriend in the whole world. He is SO good to me. He makes me feel like a queen. I definitely dont deserve him.(not to mention he's SMOKING hot!!) I have developed close relationships with people in my family that I NEVER thought would happen. Jaynee is probably one of my best friends in the world. She knows everything there is to know about me, and still puts up with me ;). She's far stronger and more beautiful than she'll ever believe. She's stunning. And the boys are lining up for her. She's smart as can be, and HILARIOUS. She's also my girlfriend.(inside joke). Something my Dad always told us growing up is "Your siblings are going to be your best friends someday" Me and Rachel would Scowl and vow that would never happen. Now when i go even one day without seeing her its hard! And her husband is one of my best friends, Nick reminds me of him in alot of ways, which is a good thing. I've always wanted my husband to be like Casey.
I have a job in this HORRIBLE economy. I sit there all day and think about how boring my job is and how much I'd rather be with my friends. When I really should be thinking about how awesome it is to actually have a job, when there are SO many people who dont.
I just can NOT get over how amazing the gospel is. Last night my cousin Calvin got his song recorded from Curts funeral its the most beautiful song EVER. We were all bawling. Mikayla was struggling the hardest and my Gramma wasn't helping, she just kept saying he's gone forever. I didnt know what to say. She KNOWS better than that. I had no idea what to do so I just went and held Mikayla. So all the sudden while I was holding her all these words started coming out of my mouth. I dont remember my exact words. I remember my Grandma saying "His kids don't have a dad" With out thinking I said " Mikayla how lucky are they to get to have there daddy as there own personal guardian angel" She smiled a little bit and I went on to tell her how much he loved her. I personally think Curtis was in that room. I FELT his arms go around both me and Mikayla and I could just feel his spirit there. The knowledge of the gospel doesn't make the pain go away by any means, it just makes it more bearable. Knowing he's with us every second of every day. It makes me want to strive to become a better person, so I'm worthy to be with Curty again. I miss him....